Signs that your marriage or relationship is in need of help:
- You and your spouse or partner don’t feel connected anymore or there is a sense of distance in your relationship.
- You and your spouse or partner are fighting frequently, and may have developed a seemingly endless cycle of: criticism, conflict, and withdrawal followed by making up.
- You no longer trust your spouse or partner due to deceit, infidelity, and/or an addictive behavior.
- You don’t feel like your needs are being met by your spouse or partner.
- You are contemplating divorce.
If you are thinking that you might need help with your relationship, you probably do! Studies indicate that most couples do not seek help until 6 to 7 years after the onset of difficulties often placing the continuation of the relationship in significant peril.
Each partner in a marriage or relationship has the challenging task of balancing three realities:
- Your perceptions, feelings, needs, and desires
- Your partner’s perceptions, feelings, needs, and desires
- The needs of the relationship
Integrating these three dimensions is what results in a sense of emotional connection. Significant problems develop when a couple’s sense of emotional closeness and connection becomes compromised.
A sense of closeness to your spouse or partner along with a sense of emotional and physical security is essential to a healthy, intimate relationship. Many factors can have a negative or harmful effect on these core ingredients including:
- infidelity or deceit
- domestic violence
- insufficient relationship skills
- the negative effect of painful experiences in past relationships or marriages
- the effects of stress from work, children, finances, etc.
- physical or mental health challenges for one or both partners including addictions
- relationship difficulties with parents or in-laws.
The aims of Couples Therapy at our practice include: resolving painful feelings of hurt and anger; moving beyond emotional blocks to increased intimacy; addressing individual psychological challenges contributing to the relationship struggles; and developing relationship skills.
Our therapists work with couples to develop the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, problem solve, and even argue in a healthier way. Both partners learn to develop a way of communicating that is respectful and considerate of each other’s feelings, needs, and desires. This type of dialogue builds the intimacy and connectedness in a relationship, and allows for development or restoration of the love and commitment to each other that so often feels lost.